beautiful eyes

attention//focus//komitted

2010-06-06T10:04:00.000-07:00

the beginning of 2010 aka the beginning of the end..

i already got a job

not much to tell. i am working in banking industry. after 6 months there, i realize that i miss my unemployment. it rocks..

after 6 months;

i need another job... seriously...

Kesumat 'Prison Called Conformity' ep

2009-09-02T08:41:00.000-07:00

hi,
greeting to all of you..
i just had one hour of sleep. I am so tired, but i can't sleep. I wonder why..

Today, i am gonna upload our Kesumat ep for free download. yeah.. Just click where it says Kesumat 'Prison Called Conformity" ep and wish you all have a great time listening to our ep. Give us comment, will ya. I am not sure if the cassette still available or not...

Also don forget to check our myspace... ;)

::Kesumat 'Prison Called Conformity" ep::

::Kesumat Myspace::

Ok that's all for now... thank you so much..

p/s- Actually i plan to upload new songs from us which will be released (split '7 with Thrash Ohoi) under Pissart and Basement rec this November, but then it will affect their business rite? So as a nice punk rocker, I don't want to let that happens. CewAH...

Hehe. Have a nice tune - listen to 80's hardcore....

between deathcore and power violence thrash

2009-09-01T01:35:00.000-07:00

I like powerviolence hardcore. I dunno why but i really enjoy the spastic elements in it which it starts and stops, then starts again, then stop, fast and then slow, and its sludgy breakdown which means i don't have to sit next to the speaker to listen to the slow drowning so called sludge music for the whole record. Don't get me wrong here, since it is another type of music by a bunch of passionate and honest bands but i just not ready to listen to other than short, fast and loud music. Hell yeahh...

Bands like Spazz. The Endless Blockade, Weekend nachos, Iron Lung, Hatred Surge inspire me. ;)

How about deathcore? Black Dahlia Murder? Animosity? Job For Cowboy? Red Chord? to be honest, i like metal music. Whatever you say, sir...

p/s - Kesumat (Malaysian Rojak Core) will release split '7 with Thrash Ohoi (Malaysian Thrash Core) under Pissart Recs. So cheers to that. Latest news said that it will be pressed this november.

Next plan - Kesumat will MAYBE release its full length cd under discharge recs. It is still under consideration considering that we never record more than 6 songs in a row. hahaha. But this time, we gonna record about 15 new songs!!! Wish us luck!!!

End of this - Jom Buka!!! In case while you reading this, you are in Shah Alam...

In Memory (Paan Feb '09 - Aug '09)

2009-08-20T23:14:00.000-07:00

Ops, sorry if the title mislead u somewhere too far. He is not dead yet. In fact, he is healthy as a horse. Last time i check, he is still alive. If u don't believe me, check his blog.hahaha...

Dear Paan,
Thanx for your time and great contribution for Kesumat. We really appreciate what you have done with us. Sometimes, things are beyond our control. We cannot ask respect, but we gain respect. If people don't give respect, don't give a shit. Let it be. Let them be. People change, but i believe we cannot change people. Sorry if any wrongdoings i have done while u r in Kesumat. Sorry on behalf of Keumat family also. Goodluck!!!

p/s - Paan, mintak password myspace Kesumat.

Dear Frens,
Regrettably to inform that Paan already quit Kesumat. You can read his expression aka resignation letter below. Have fun reading because it is fun. It made me smile and thinking 'seorang penggagal?'. Hehehe.

Music within this writing - All Shall Perish 'The Price of Existence'. Ahaks...

Monday, August 17, 2009

Selamat Tinggal Kesumat.
Category: Music
People come and go.

I was brought into the world of Kesumat by the band's guitarist and also a good friend of mine, Azy by his nickname. It was a short period since I was not too sure to stay or quit before Kesumat's latest recording.

I replaced Akhdan, the band's former vocalist. Being a frontman was one of my wildest dream, because it took me to the next level of defining how a good performer should be. But maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was not honest enough. Yeah, it's true. I was hit by my own judgement and perception. I was so stucked up.

Kesumat adalah kekasih jangka pendek yang pernah saya sayangi. Kerana Kesumat-lah saya belajar sesuatu tentang pendekatan ego dan kehidupan. If you say that you are care enough, than asked yourself back, have you done anything that completed yourself but still, no one give a shit about it? Yeah, mate. Don't you ever come in front of me and say "I'm so open-minded!". It would only make me puke. A middle fucking finger for you then.

Oh, shit! I'm off the track again. Kesumat, yeah Kesumat. Belum masanya untuk kau tidur wahai Kesumatku sayang. Cuma aku ini seorang penggagal yang meminta izin haluanku sendiri.

Selamat tinggal Kesumat.

Selamat tinggal.

annoy the boring please....

2009-08-02T07:26:00.000-07:00

what the fuck?
aduss, mencarut lagi. sial laa. baru ingat nak berenti mencarut?

cane ek?
try bernazar? agak-agak kalau cakap nanti dah dapat keje, terus boleh berenti ok kot?

kenapa pulak?
ye la.. niat baik akan dibalas baik. mana tau esok dpt keje.. sapa tau kn? tuah orang nampak di kaki, tuah orang sapa yang tau. Betul x?

Butoh!!!

*** fuck, malas nak layan diri sendiri nih. nanti mencarut, tambah isap rokok banyak gle. dada pun dah sikit sikit sakit. apsal la payah sangat nk dapat keje? malas nk fikir tp mesti ada dalam kepala otak nih. kalau tak time bangun tdo, time nak tdo. last2 aku tak boleh tdo sampai pagi.

maybe u are just unlucky?
being unlucky is not comfortable for me la. even worse i guess.

dude, unemployment rocks!
yeah, it really rocks my world rite now. In fact, upside down. Who can survive without a job?

students boleh survive?
diorang ada ptptn...

abis tuh, yang takde ptptn?
argh, sial laa...aku nak g makan laa...lapar gle....

***teringat ayam masala Rafi, tp mesti dh habis punya.. apsal tetiba ramai plk yg makan ayam masala tuh? dulu selalu je ada..

Anyone yg duduk kt Sek 7, Pakli jom! Layan white coffe... Xpun mamak ngeteh. Esok aku xkeje... Nak lepak sampai kul 5 pagi pun boleh...

Amacam? Ada beran?

interview with Kecit (the most cute grinder i have ever seen)

2009-07-27T00:47:00.000-07:00

This interview should be published a long time ago since i planned to involve into publishing/writing arena. But shit happened and here we are. Called me lazy because it is true. I don't care ;). Anyway big apology goes to Kecit of Karenaneko. Not because of the delay of this iw, but for stolen picture. Myspace rocks! Ops, he also play bass for Osmantikos. yeaaaaa....

1- Hi Kecit. How are you today? Tell me about your fast-grinding Karenaneko? Any plan?

YEah! cheers! love fast music! i love jahat as well. haha. kerenaneko? yups,that band is non fast grinding anymore bro. we're getting sick with old fuck mince grindcore like dahmer, mesrine bla bla..u name it. total change in music as well as our line up. watch out bro!

2- Now, it is 2.09 pm and it is raining. I am glad about it. At least it decreases the frequncy i have to take shower after sweating hard. Haha. How about your place Kecit? Is the whether doing all right over there? Anything you want to comment or complain?

haha. frequency of what u'r trying to trick me huh? i know u azy. u love masturbation,don't u? huhu. okay,kelantan nowadays more likely as hot as oven or hot plate.u can cook anything by just letting the food expose to the sunlight. it just like that. u love chicken chop,ok i'll make it for u now! hahaha

3- Do you have any suggestion towards the issue above? Do you think that public transportations can play a big role in reducing the global warming issue? I guess we should start by improving them first, right? Then ourselves. haha.

ok.i agree with that. car pooling is just similar to that bro. i prefer car pooling rather than public transportation since they always ugly,dirty and not punctual enough. yeah,but the concept is still the same. "to prevent/reduce global warming" rite? now, stop using ur refrigerator with CFC and other materials related to that okay? muah

4- Kecit, can you tell me about the effect of smoking? Last time, all the neuron-thing scared the shit out of me. Maybe you can share with the readers a bit and scare them too. i was very impressed at that time. hehe.

haha. as i told u last time, "lu tinggal 2 jumaat lagi bro. 2 jumaat je". so,be prepare and let go everything u have now including the stuff etc. haha. just joking bro. ok, everyone(smokers) know about this but still denying and avoiding themselves to stop smoking rite? as i said, u guys actually know the consequences. u guys felt it, start from lung incompetence,then u'll have chest pain, shoulder pain, shortness of breath, medial and lateral arm pain and things become worst when u guys experience terminal lung cancer. that's it bro. brain damage n neurons things is hidden effects bro. it's not visible rite? so,as a conclution, reduce first then slowly try to stop it okay. i love u bro.

5- Ok. Bonus question. What come first in your mind when I said shorter, faster, louder? hehe.

shorter=satar, faster=grind attack by machine and louder as fuck bebeh! haha. and when these combine together,it will brings u satisfaction to the max bebeh! param rules!!

6- Ok. That’s all for now. Don’t forget to send my regards to your girlfriend ok. Thank you so fuckin' much. Love you...

love to fuck u too but i can't..i'd change bro.sorry. ;)

Who I would Like to Meet... yea....

2009-07-26T18:06:00.000-07:00

i think you all know who she is..

;)

interview with keju

2005-04-04T03:12:00.001-07:00

1- hi keju, how are you today? ok, please tell us about who you are as this is the only chance for you to exalt yourself in any ways, hehehe. anyway, how did nyi blorong started?

Hello there to azy and all of the readers of this beautiful (eyes) zine. first of all, i would like to say sorry to the editor of this zine (azy) for the late submission of this interview. if not for me, you guys would've read this zine much sooner. u can condemned me if you want. Hahaha.. ok, so I’m nazir but better known as keju. I’m just an ordinary human being, trying so hard to fit in this hectic and hard life. Anyway, I’m still studying in one of the educational institution in KL. I’m also the vocalist of the band nyiblorong.
Nyiblorong started with a bunch of school kids who likes hardcore and some metal. We started with me, buji, alan, bongek, lopong and keneth. Bongek was replaced by wan hazril shortly after that as the bassist. After recording songs for a demo, split and playing some gigs, we’ve some line up change as well. Now nyiblorong consists of me(vocal), buji(guitar), zairi(guitar), wan(bass) and yusri(drum).

2- what is punk/hardcore to you? how did you get involved? what is the best thing you discovered in this community?

Well, I doubt that hc/punk deserve a certain definition. But as I can see it, hc/punk is an idea that detests oppression, fascism, and any kind of negative element. I think that was supposed to be the basic of humanity as well. I’m not a radical person, but if only all of us (as a human being) could thrive this basic element of humanity, I guess the word oppression wouldn’t even exist in the first place. Well, maybe greed is the basic element of humanity as well. Isn’t it?
How I get involved? Well, most of my early ‘involvement’ was about music. Now I could see that there are so many aspects, ideas and so on inside this community, some I can accept and some I can questions and tolerate.
The best thing I’ve discovered inside this community is friendship. It’s fun to go to shows or jamming session to meet friends. We could communicate with people all around the world without having the notion that we wouldn’t be accepted or we aren’t cool enough. If some people do think that I’m not cool enough, then go to hell with their perception. Hahahaha….
besides that, I see this hc/punk scene as an alternative lifestyle. I can say that hc/punk has changed my way of thinking into certain things in life and give me the chance to discover things that’s hard to find inside the ‘mainstream’ world. I’m not saying that I’m sooo ‘underground’ than the rest of the people ‘out’ there. It’s just that most of the things we could easily find out there are set by trends and demands which are mostly influenced by television and other mass media, what’s hot and what’s not. But the truth is, there’re so many things to discover for yourself than to just bow to the trends. And from hc/punk, I’m able to discover these things. It’s not just music. It can be reading material, movies or even places to hang up or buy things. That’s from my point of view.

3- anyway, in this life, we can't predict what will happen in future. so, what is your opinion about globalization issue? is it about bringing us to glorify in all aspect or just another threat to lower class citizens? Comment...

Yeah, for sure we can’t predict what’ll happen in the future. We want a better world but some assholes keep acting like some people don’t deserve to live in peace and harmony. I couldn’t comment much about the globalization as I don’t have a proper understanding of it but as far as I can see, the word globalization which means a world with no borders are just being used by a bunch of business maniac who couldn’t get enough of money for their own profit. But as I see it, Globalization couldn’t work fairly inside this capitalist world. It’s just a method to widen the capitalist’s empire throughout the world. Small business will have to compete but without much money and source, who will succeed unless we support this big corporation. Yes, maybe the small business will prosper but who will prosper more? And as we heard it, some of the money is being used for military and oppression. I’ve just read from The Coalition zine written by someone called izhan about economics. He said something about why capitalism should be ‘evil’ in the first place. From my understanding, he said that the capital itself is the cause of it. At first, in order to maintain their capital, they have to have profit. But later on, they did everything that’s possible to gain as much profit as they can. For me, business is profit, but when they did all that they can to exploit whatever they want in order to gain more profit, that’s where the oppression exist. For sure greed is one element of human being that we couldn’t confine. These people will exploit any system possible for their own profit. That’s why we’re creating so many system and ideas to ‘control’ human activities but in the end, greed still won. That’s why I believe that to change how the world looks like; we have to change the person itself. Not by saying what could and couldn’t be done. Just the basic of humanity could do it. Or maybe in order to change the person, we have to change the system? I don’t know. We’re longing for a perfect world, but will it exist someday or will the world worsen from day to day till the end? So about your question whether globalization will bring us to glory or is it just another threat to lower class citizen, the answer is how the world handles globalization itself. If opportunities are given to small businesses or the so called third world countries so that their condition of living will improve, then I believe we will glorify. But as I could see it, it’s just for the sake of big businesses. For that, I couldn’t see where it will lead us. Maybe we could find a way to ‘exploit’ the globalization itself for our benefit. That’s all I could say from my limited point of view. Note that all these are just from my point of view. Me, myself are the victim of evil capitalism and greed.

4- some people said that if you want to succeed in your life, we must excel in our education. do you agree with this statement? do you see that the education is the best tool to confront with the injustice stuff nowadays? and what do you think about education system here?

Well, I’ve read the interview you’ve made with joe kidd inside ur zine sometimes ago and he said that success has a subjective definition. I agree with him in this. If u sees success as having a good job and a lot of money, then you’ll have to work yourself towards it. May it because of religion or money or humanity, u couldn’t claim yourself successful unless u’ve reached the goal u want. As for me, I do believe that education is somewhat important in my life. Let it be formal or informal, I think it’s important for everyone to have education. It’s the tool to everything. As for formal education, I think I need it as I want a decent job that could support me and my family in the future. Everybody needs money.
Education to confront the injustice stuff? Since education is mostly associated with schools and university nowadays, so I’m referring the term ‘educated’ as the people who’ve gone to school or university, although being educated for me is much more than receiving a scroll. Yes, it can be true that education can be used to confront the injustice stuff. But injustice is everywhere. You can be a doctor to give medical treatment to those who can’t afford it or you can at least be a human to give something to needy people. You can be educated and be a selfish asshole or you can be a school dropout who is concern about the society. so I could say that education are one of the tool to confront the injusticeness, but the main thing is our willing to confront it ourself in any way possible. But if we’re talking about injustice ness from a larger scale, I think we do need some education to fix the system. The scroll means much nowadays. Sometimes I do think that it’s ridiculous. Since you’ve mentioned about education system, this is one of it. Inside the education system, the scroll means everything. Students spend 3 to 5 years studying for this piece of paper. And as I can see it, the education system didn’t prepare students to be ready for their workplace. The exams require students to memorize. Even without proper understanding. I mean, why do we need to know where the theories come from? Do we really need to know how equations are made or who the hell invented theories? Working doesn’t require that u know all that unless u’re a lecturer or teacher. What I’m saying is the education system teaches us crap we don’t use when we work. So when we work, we have to start from basic and gain some working experience before we’re easily accepted by companies. There’s SO MUCH MORE to learn in life and they’re feeding us those craps for nothing. At least that’s how I see and heard even from the mouth of some famous local scholars. And working is another thing. Sometimes we have to work really hard that we couldn’t spend much time with our families and friends. Whew, I’m starting to get emotional here. haha…

5- how do you tolerate with peoples especially your friends who talk about something that you totally not agree? how do you voice out your opinion and at the same time, try to sustain your friendship with others?

Emm..i’m not the kind of person who likes to argue about other peoples idea unless they intended to have some comment from me. But if there’s something that I totally didn’t agree, I guess I’ll just say it to them or but sometimes I just didn’t say anything if I see no concrete reason to do so. Friendship is somewhat important to me. As long I can see, I can be friend with anyone I’m comfortable with unless they have this pissed off macho mentality who likes to go around and beat people who they didn’t like. Well, most of my friend didn’t care if I have the same or different opinion as them. I’ve read from a crimethinc publication (I don’t remember what publication) that being different is more anarchist than the anarchy idea itself (at least that’s what I understand). But I’m no anarchist. Just to state that one opinion or belief (or disbelief) should not divide us as a human.

6- if you have to pick up three famous persons you can talk with, who will those persons be, and what will you ask them and why?

Adam Sandler : I’ll ask him to make a movie based on a novel called ‘I want to buy a vowel’ by John Welter. That novel is damn funny and adam sandler himself is funny!

Bush : maybe I’ll save my word and kill him instead. He didn’t want to hear what the whole world said, so why would he listen to me. Hahahah..jahatnya gua!

Winona Ryder! (wait till my girlfriend read this!)

7- what are the most five embarrassing stuff/ records you have in your collection? hehehe... this need your highest level of your honesty...

haahah..it’s obvious that I’ll be embarrassed so why should I put it here. anyway, I do think that any form of music/art has their own ‘uniqueness’ and it’s just a matter of musical taste for me. Enjoy it as long as u fell it’s enjoyable.

8- what is it that i can use to wake you up in the middle of the night while you are totally dead meat? hehehe...

I think you’ve done that to me several times before. Hahahah…so u know how to wake me up while I’m fast asleep. But basically I’ll wake up when my phone rings. So you can call me up in the middle of the night to burn some mp3s and videos or to fetch u up where ever you are.

9- last shouts from you.. thank you.

Thanks for interviewing a ‘nobody’ like me. Hahah… sorry again for the late reply for this interview. Good luck with your zine, band and life. To all the readers, thanks for reading this interview. Note that all my answer for this interview are basically from my point of view or something that I’ve read that I want to share with you people. So if my understanding about some writings from somebody else is wrong, or if you think that my view is wrong, just drop some comment to me. Ok, that’s all. And if in anyway you guys want to contact me, just email me at mnazirnb@yahoo.com. Be yourself but don’t be a jock!! Bye bye :~)

point of view - rape issue

2005-02-22T10:31:00.000-08:00

"i found out that rape issue is an impending catastrophe and i see no way out for us escape that so called stupid disaster except a modern way of thinking of each human being." - azy

"In my point of view, women always are being violent victims such as abuse and rape. In other word, nowadays patriarchies placed women in a low basement in whatever situation, time, and case and so on. They are also exploitation women to please them self.

Rape crime is one of the exploitation of women. The crime is happened because man never controls their passion in whatever situation. When they can’t control their passion, women became a victim to please them. This will causes desecrate, rape, and murder.

To avoid this thing happen to anyone, women have to be more careful. They have to bring anything that they think can help them to protect them self along such as eye spray and avoid them self-walking in a dark alley alone. That was very dangerous, dude! For those who had been survived from being rape or had been raped, they have to make a report in nearer police station. People or police have to cooperate to prevent rape, this is very important because women nowadays being so scare to walk alone or going to anyway that they wish for. There are no safe places for them!

I’m not saying that men are sources of rape because women also always exploitation their body and sexy which is will causes rape. But in many case, men have to be blame because why they can’t control their passion. There are also a case that a small little girl been raped. Is it her fault? Is she wearing a little sexy dress that can make men passionate? So, we can’t blame women in certain case especially in a case of rape." - nana

"I was flipping through the papers from the newspaper stand in Kolej Mawar when i came accross a disgusting paedophile case.. A mere girl was raped and sodomised.. found dead.. naked...

The next day.. I was watchin the tv alongside with my friend when I noticed another rape news.. this time a china student.. sadistically raped, sodomised,then killed....

what has come over the world today... its getting crazy and crazy.. i thought... i mean.. particularly no female is safe anywhere now... even in the comforts of your own home.. even in the arms of your boyfriends and friends... incase you havent heard... date rape is not new... and so is raping your own flesh and blood... and rapist dont just attack beautiful young grrls no more... makcik,nenek and budak yang jilat hingus sendiri also gets thier tostesterone pumping and thier hearts wild.. this fuckin things dont just happen lately... this is not a new issue..but rape is certainly one of the most talked about issue nowadays...

what contributes to this...? 'is it because of the hotpants i wear today?or was it because you adore my cleavage? perhaps it was my large breasts or my nice butt?'.. one might ask that... was it all because of that?

if it was... how do you explain paedophile... penetrating a mere child who knows soo little of sex.. imagine how he or she would have felt at that time.. if i were a paedophile.. id drench myself in kerosene and set myself ablaze... how do you explain raping of own flesh and blood... all the trust and love the victims invested to thier rapist shattered in an instant... how do you explain date rape?

i guess the real answer here lies in the filthy minds of the rapist... i think the main reason that contributes to such issue is the lack of respect of the male species to the female species.. men tends to think that they are the dominent species... and we, female are the weaker species, of lower heirachy.. im not reffering to all male.. but a vast number of people thinks that way.. They tend to look down on female.. regard them as weak and slaves who must obey orders... If this is not the case... then i think men should at least ask right...?but no... they just take without consent...

I also think that men should really controll thier sexual desires..a firend of mine once told me that whenever he sees a grrl with big breast.. he would imagine him undressing her... well.. i cant stop him from doing that... but it should stop there... but i guess some people dont just stop there.. they take thigss one step ahead... taking it to reality... thats when rape takes place...

where there is soo little that we can do for unusual case of rape such as paedophile, female plays a big part in prevention of rape... first and foremost.. attitude... yes... flirting openly is like an invite to sex for some people... but the main thing is to think fast ifyou are stuck in such situation that could lead to rape... it would help if one knows self defence.. Pepper spray would be the ideal weapon to protect yourself.. its even better than knife bacause you dont need contact to unleash your defence... never walk alone in dark alleys or places which you yourself doubt the safeness...

During parties or social activities... never accept invites of some people you just met back to thier homes.. if you are uncertain of your boyfriend or friend.. follow your heart..trust your instincts.. it may be your last defence againts date rape... make sure your drinks arent spiked..dont drink too much till youre drunk.. people tend to take advantage of these situation..

If you ever been raped and survived it.. dont keep it all to your self... tell it to someone who can help you... lodge a police report...and the best thinig is to know your rights!its your last defence againts the cruelty of reality where sometimes even the police doubt you..." - tqah

a life like this...

2005-02-20T15:33:00.000-08:00

life should be like this,
reign yourself to fulfill what you need,
conquer yourself with what you craved for,
serve yourself as your own powerful master.

arrested for no reason of guilty,
and been praised for the invisible sinner,
trapped inside the liberal culture that you claim is,
you made a law that you wont follow.

always think about others when you are mad,
you might lost one of your good comrade,
once you have ever passed the bridge you have built,
i know how it feel that does not so easy to ease.

once you are at above or down in deep shit,
keep thinking about your opposite class,
they might be your friends which may turn to a foe,
or they might be a giant that going to ruin your life.

one day you will find a bullet invading into your head,
it just happens all by sudden without ever thought about it,
and you have stumbled in the middle of the heaven and hell,
and you finally regretted about what you have never done before.

a life should end like this...

principal of investment

2005-01-25T11:40:00.000-08:00

"don't put all the eggs in a basket"

the great tony blair

2005-01-25T08:45:00.000-08:00

"america has spoken and the world should listen" - blair...

my dear, can i have sex with you?

2005-01-24T00:00:00.000-08:00

they might have been forgotten as the scars of beaten slowly burned into their skin colour. As they were choked, fully throttled, craved for a ray of sympathy, someone took it as an advantage to fulfill their desire.

this is a true story of a friend of mine who have been raped, threated not to reveal anything to others and this is a seriously irony. is is about each girl who hang out at guy's squat will let themselves being fucked by the guy? is is their fault if they were overdrunk, stayed at half-opened eyes, and get raped?

reasons, and denials, intruded shrouding the conflict to decide which side is wrong. this is basically a story about one has a dick and the other one has a hole. one deny that it was other's fault, as we live in a denial does. what about if no one has dick to carry on and no one has their hole to be let in by the cock? what if peoples still rape after that?

a girl who walk alone does not deserved herself to be raped by you. try to think equally. what about if you were born as a girl? you will think the same.

true failure, tragic and irony, are the proofs that we are now successfully achive the culmination of this civilised life.